My first year dancing in the Nutcracker was the year I was playing a mouse.  I remember how much I enjoyed the lights shining on me and the feeling of  being onstage.  At that moment I was most mesmerized by the character of Klara.  I knew then that I wanted to play that role.  I wanted to see what it was like to have such an amazing lead role.  That is exactly what happened.

When I found out I was going to be playing the role of Klara, I couldn’t even describe how I was feeling; this was two years ago.  When I danced this part, I felt like it was just me.  I felt like I was alone in the auditorium.  When I dance this role I felt so free.  This was the  moment when I really decided I wanted to be a dancer.  Playing this role made me realize how much I love to dance and how much I love being onstage.

Dancing has definitely been both amazing and a struggle.  When Nutcracker season comes, school work definitely becomes a challenge.  However, I manage to complete everything and still enjoy the season.  Every Nutcracker season gets me excited.  Nutcracker has now become a part of me and everyone I dance with is like my second family.  Dancing is one thing I will never stop doing.  Something inside of me changes when I dance and I feel so strong and graceful.

Victoria

The Conservatory of Dance’s Nutcracker has changed my life forever.  In the “Hands” song there is a quote that says...”In the end, only kindness matters.”  This has certainly taught me to be kind and generous to everybody even if I don’t particularly care for that person.  In the beginning of Nutcracker, Klara is homeless and nobody likes her at all.  But a couple of people, such as the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Nutcracker himself, spot a spark of hope in her.  Who would’ve thought that just a single dance or recital could change your life!!  But believe you me, when you put that much passion and joy in your dancing, it does.
Last year for Nutcracker, I was blessed enough to get the part of Klara.  While I danced that part, I knew what it felt like to be shoved aside or not included.  As the recital continued, there was more and more hope for Klara because people started to believe in her, which gave her confidence.  At the end, Klara expressed even though her hands are small, they are not ours but they are hers.  Klara will never be broken.  This role helped me to include others at school and to reach out to those in need during the day.  In the 4 or 5 years I was in Nutcracker, I never really understood it and just danced it.  But as I grew older and got Klara, I realized that you have to do more than just dance.  You have to do more than do your homework and do your chores.  You must put your heart into it and you will succeed and understand a lot more things. In the Nutcracker, just a couple people had hope for Klara but once others saw their example, they followed them as well! I am now a whole different person because of Nutcracker and what it means to my life.  Even someone who has no possibility of making friends or, in Klara’s case, living a good life, believe.  Believe in that person and set an example for others.  This is what I learned and got out of Nutcracker.  This dance is more important to me now because I understand it and live my dancing!!  Once you take the time to listen to the songs and lyrics in Nutcracker like I did, you will be a whole different person.  And remember, I didn’t just dance Klara because that was my job; I became Klara and put myself in her shoes.  And I learned that “in the end, only kindness matters.”  Believe and have hope for people and there will be a change just like in the Nutcracker!

Molly

When the school year starts back up, just as it did a few weeks ago, many times people ask me if I’m ok. When I ask them what they are talking about, they ask if I can handle school five days a week, homework every night, playing the flute in my school’s band, and, of course, coming to dance five or more nights a week.  Sometimes, questions like these make me think about whether I have chosen the right life for myself.  I think about how much more free and family time I would have, how many more sleepover parties I would have, how little I would have to worry about getting places and scheduling myself around dance classes and rehearsals.  But then, I think to myself, a life without dance wouldn’t be fun at all.
My mom put me in dance classes at the Conservatory of Dance when I was three years old.  She can tell you that I used to and still do flit around the house doing arabesques and pirouettes.  I’ve gone from taking Creative Movement classes once a week to taking ballet, modern, and jazz classes Monday through Thursday and Saturday as an apprentice to the company.  It’s not that I dance because I want to.  It’s because I need to.  There are so many great things that came and will continue to come from my experience at COD.  Dance has changed my attitude toward school, people, and life in general.  It is my release from the real world and I hope it will continue to be for as long as possible.
This year, in November, we will be performing at the Lerner Theatre the contemporary version of the Nutcracker and I am so excited.  I have gratefully received the most roles that I have ever gotten and I’m trying to make sure that my instructors, Miss Lydia and Miss Dawn, don’t second guess themselves about giving them to me.  Even though there are a lot of rehearsals, I want our performance to be as perfect as Miss Dawn does!

Avery

The Contemporary Nutcracker:  What It Means To Me

The Contemporary Nutcracker is more than a modern ballet.  It’s a feeling.  It’s the embodiment of the true Christmas spirit.  Henry Havelock Ellis described dancing as “...the loftiest, the most beautiful of the arts.  For it is no mere translation or abstraction of life, it is life itself.”  The Nutcracker, therefore, is an emotion, a true creative feeling of the holiday spirit.  We perform Nutcracker every year; this is the fifth year we are performing this amazing modern ballet and I still haven’t gotten tired of it yet.  In fact, my younger sister, Quinn, who is also in company, and I say after the spring show, “Yay! It’s Nutcracker season!”  We started saying that after one of the graduates of our company said that while carrying costumes to the car after one of the spring performances.
To me, the Nutcracker is so important to my life as a dancer.  When I started dancing five years ago, my first traditional performance was this Nutcracker.  I was a mouse and part of the Children of the Kingdom corps.  Now, I am in the Act Two variations and the Mouse Queen.  I dance in opening and flowers. The Nutcracker has created me into a dedicated dancer.  Duh, I’m part of the  company and dedicate 18-21 hours per week for class/rehearsal.  That leaves about 147 hours left for the rest of my week.  Minus 35 hours for school, I have 112 hours left.  Fifty-six  hours are supposed to be spent sleeping, not that I sleep that much;  that leaves 56 hours left for free time, if you can call it that.  That time is spent doing homework, reading, traveling to and from dance and school, eating, etc.  My time is definitely occupied with dance and school.
I’m growing more and more, and Ms. Dawn keeps pushing us to do better and better. I’m much stronger, more mature, and a better dancer than I was five years ago. Our technique is definitely stronger each year and I am learning how to juggle homework, dance, and sleeping for occasionally less than seven hours per night.  Yes, there was the difference of five years, but only time is not going to mature someone. Being 13 (turning 14 in October), I’ve had to mature quickly in order to keep up with my friends and level, and time and the yearly spring show haven’t done that alone.
Emotionally, Nutcracker has changed so much about me.  I’m a stronger person (mentally and physically), but Nutcracker takes away family time and I have truly felt the lack in that hugely.  My grandmother came here to Granger for Nutcracker and Christmas last year.  I wasn’t able to spend any time with her until after we performed Nutcracker.  The week of the performance, we typically have a least four days dedicated to dress rehearsals:  two at the studio, and two at the theater.  We can end up staying at the theater until 10:00 or 10:30 at night the two days right before the performances.  This year, because Nutcracker is right after Thanksgiving, my family can’t go home to Texas for Thanksgiving.  My family makes so many sacrifices for dance, like deciding not to spend a holiday with extended family.  Weekly, I spend about six hours and 15 minutes in rehearsal, learning, spacing and cleaning dances I have known from three years ago to learning them last week.
The last part of why Nutcracker is so important to me is indescribable. As Robert Frost said, “Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.”  That’s why I dance.  Dance picks up where words cannot go. The version of Nutcracker we perform is such a moving fairytale.  The pain Klara goes through, then the fear and sadness, then extreme happiness.  I love being a part of that.  The company girls are my family, and we are so happy for each other when we get a part we’ve wanted.  I was so happy when casting came out:  I’m Mouse Queen and Julia, one of my best friends in the entire world, is Klara.  It’s a wonderful chance to trust each other and learn to work together.  All of the girls in company, the girls I have known for years, are now my sisters, my wonderful family that I end up spending a lot of time with.  Every single time “Hands” by Jewel comes on the radio or plays during rehearsal, I automatically start singing along without even thinking about it.  I even have a playlist on my iPod dedicated to Nutcracker music!
Nutcracker is the most amazing thing I have ever done, and being cast in it creates an atmosphere in which I grow immensely.  Every single year, we are pushed beyond our limits. We are challenged to do more, to dedicate more, to perform more, to be more.  We set the bar high, and we exceed.  We create stronger bodies: our hearts beat stronger each year, we are more flexible each year, we are stronger each year, we breathe more deeply, we treasure our bodies more, our endurance is longer every single year.  We learn how to juggle school and dance, and try to fit in our other activities, like sleeping and spending time with family, in between. I only have Sunday as my day off because this is the only day that I cannot dance at the Conservatory.  I still dance on Sundays, though; you cannot stop a dancer from dancing.  As I have explained to my parents many times, I have to dance.  It is my life, the one that I choose to live and thrive in.  Nutcracker is way more than a modern ballet.  It’s a being.  Nutcracker in indescribable.  I can’t even express what it means to me through words, which all of my friends and acquaintances can attest to that being a rare occasion.  You just need to see it, to feel it, even, to understand how amazing it is.

Peyton